Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
