Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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