This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
