So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
