Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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