do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize