Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
