Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
