just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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