Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
