At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
birth control should be required to get into college
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
