btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
