i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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