My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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