Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
