I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
