Your tits are I can't wait for
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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