Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.