He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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