They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit