I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
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I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down