I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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