No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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