i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
my liver is dry heaving
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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