Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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