Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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