im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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