I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
