He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
