Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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