matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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