so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
