pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
