Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize