i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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