I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
