U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
