It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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