Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
