two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
