It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
