She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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