Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well you can't waste a boner
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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