i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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