you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
