So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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