I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
