last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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