i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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