i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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