for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Randomize
