im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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