she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
