I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
