i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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