I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
