Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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