at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
