Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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