she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
