I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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