Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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