I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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